Factually Inaccurate #3: Thom Tuck, Jenan Younis, Sharlin Jahan, Drew Stearne, and Michael Cumes

Do not name our owl Owly McOwlface.

Another sell-out show! But you know what they say, never work with children, animals, or projectors. And our deepest apologies to Michael Cumes, who opened up for us with a wonderful set about being a creepy twin (I might be paraphrasing slightly).

Due to a miscommunication between myself and Maddi, the latter had no idea that Michael’s slides were on a separate set to my own, opening ones. And so an extremely awkward few minutes unfolded with us trying to sort it out, and Michael understandably a bit stressed out by it all. “Go on first, they said. This is my fourth show!”.

Sorry Michael. You were brilliant regardless.

Michael Cumes and some relatives who did not give permission to be in this presentation.

Next up was co-producer Maddi Sainsbury, whose set was very personal, off-the-cuff, and absolutely NOT about mandolins, rendering my introduction more BAFFLING than usual. The mandolin will make a reappearance later though, so keep your eyes open for that…

Following Maddi’s set, billionaire carpetbagger Richard Branson was welcomed to the stage with some confusion, hesitant applause, and some well-deserved boos. It’s a shame he forgot his wig, as it meant he looked remarkably similar to host James Walsh. Weird.

Branson explained that he had been struggling to decide between talking about virgins and pickles, but that he made his choice largely for tax reasons.

The British Pickle Islands have been the victim of various attempted coups.

Next up, Jenan Younis, whose own awesome Weapons of Mass Hilarity is on next Monday (go along!). She had a very winning topic: FLATULENCE.

One thing I love about our night is how each comedian interprets the extremely woolly and poorly-explained remit in their own way. I attempted to give an example in my opening, giving a very quick lecture on Busted and climate change.

Younis, using her medical training and extensive knowledge of sticking cameras up asses, decided to go for a fully FACTUAL set, which means I now know that farting is GOOD FOR YOU. Unless she was, of course, fooling us all. I suppose time will tell.

An interval! Time to go buy a drink and apologise to supersub Sharlin Jahan for getting her name wrong . Sharlin had agreed to do the show in less than 24 hours’ notice, after Charlie George sadly had to pull out. Janan’s set was fantastic, with both practiced material and stuff seemingly made up minutes before both getting great receptions by our by-now lubricated and less-confused audience.

The atmosphere in the room now relaxed, joyous and merry, it was time for a deep dive into the world of early-noughties sex broadcasting. Drew Stearne had pulled out all the butt plugs for this: not only were there scores of slides, he was recording the show from two different angles and possibly via overhead drone. A thoroughly enjoyable, if terrifying, window into a disappeared world – there’s definitely the material here for a full hour-long show to not bring your mother to.

Drew questioned the intention and necessity behind every single word of this note.

We were running a bit late. Nonetheless, I didn’t want Thom Tuck’s set to end. Faced with an audience broadly unfamiliar with even Warhammer or Dungeons and Dragons, he gave us a tale of collectible playing cards, ludicrously named characters, and how Bitcoin emerged from the gloriously convoluted swamp of Magic: The Gathering.

Thom is a brilliant performer, and his hyper-nerdism was a lovely way to round off our third show. He even played Maddi’s mandolin in an impromptu post-gig set, enjoyed by all who remained upstairs as the venue staff cleaned up around them. A beautiful scene.

Thom Tuck and a mandolin.

We’re back on 13th September with another exciting line-up, and, hey: Sharlin enjoyed it so much she’s coming back. Yay!

J x

[1] “I knew you’d mix up Jenan and Janan!”, said Younis. I am so predictable.

p.s. Buy our fanzine!

Published by jamesofwalsh

My past blogs haunt the internet like ghost ships on a digital sea.

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